TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD WEAR A CONDOM BEFORE YOU FUCK.
I’m going to be very un-PC, very brash, and slightly pottymouthed in this post. So prudes who can’t take what I’m going to say, well, its your loss, honey. Your health & longevity, not mine.
10. There are mistakes you can live with, like that fugly tramp stamp you thought looked sexy when you got it at 19 (no biggie, laser it off!), but there are mistakes that can live with you. (I assume you aren’t that stupid to get what I’m trying to say)
9. If you don’t trust someone to look after your iPad Mini when you go take a crap, or house-sit for you, or look through contents in your phone, do you expect to trust someone when he says, “I’m clean, can I please fuck u raw, I can’t get hard with condom leh”? DON’T BE A DUMBASS.
8. Because you are a gay man in Singapore, and the general public already has pretty negative views on Teh Gay with regard to HIV. Do you want to reinforce the stereotype & humiliate yourself in the process?
7. Do you want a shotgun wedding with an unplanned bastard child in your giant preggers belly? Of course not, how embarassing would it be, especially if you come from a traditional or religious family? You bling dishonour to famiree!
6. Buying condoms is embarassing? So is going to the DSC Clinic to get the Gonorrhea you caught from the random fuck at Cruise Club last Saturday treated.
5. Because you know that if your “date” truly has feelings and cares for you, he wouldn’t put you at risk just like that OR the emotional torture of not knowing your status and worrying. Time to dump him, honey.
4. Trying new condoms can be a fun activity with your partner. I like Sagami, feels like nothing at all. ;) And it also shows to your partner that you have a good head on your shoulders. Brownie points you know!
3. Condoms are expensive? Have you seen how much I have to pay for my HIV medications every damn month? LOOK HERE. $15 + $35 for a box of condoms and a bottle of good silicone lube vs. plus minus $1000 a month for HIV medications. YOUR CHOICE.
2. You might get infected with HPV. Also known as the Human Papillomavirus (for the dumber ones). Don’t know how it looks like? LOOK HERE. There is no cure for HPV, and let’s say, you have a cheebye as horrible looking as the picture in the link, the only treatment available in Singapore is Liquid Nitrogen cryotherapy, where the nurse will have to freeze burn off each and every wart. And trust me, it FUCKING HURTS.
1. Gone are the days where all of us are going to save our virginity for the wedding night. Get real, everyone’s a whore, one way or another. Why should you wear condoms? Because it gives you the freedom to fuck around until you find the perfect cock to call your happily ever after (MY ONE! DON’T TOUCH!). Having HIV is a very lonely experience, most of us who have unfortunately caught this disease are rejected by other people and potential Mr. Rights. Do you know that feels on our self esteem? We live a lifetime of regret & what-ifs.
You have a bright future ahead of you, and Mr. Right is just around the corner. Preserve yourself & your self worth. Before its much too late. I have neither a bright future nor Mr. Right anymore. Because I didn’t listen. Don’t end up like me.
Bryan is a 33 year old Singaporean male who has been living with HIV for the past three years, having tested positive when he was 30 years of age. Prior to this, Bryan has had taken 3 HIV tests and the results were negative each time. He tested positive by using a Oraquick mouth swab rapid-test kit before having sex with his partner, who had actually planned to have unprotected sex with him.
Bryan adds candidly, “Initially, I was really shocked, dumbfounded for about a few minutes. And the next burning question in my mind was that I wondered if he would still proceed to have sex with me after knowing about my positive result (talk about priorities!). Thankfully, we continued but with protection, obviously.” Later on, Bryan then decided to visit a private clinic to make a proper confirmation with a Western Blot blood test.
A working adult who is financially independent and secure, Bryan does not see the need to disclose his HIV status to his family members. “I have no intention to inform my family and I do not see the point in telling, anyway,” he surmises.
Bryan believes that if there really is a pressing need for the family to know, one needs very sound reason for letting them know. If the reason is to derive much needed support, there are other avenues like friends you can trust and counselling, but if these avenues aren’t present, telling your family is the last resort.
He adds, “On the other hand, you should know your family best. If by telling them about your HIV means you’d incur their wrath and be going to raise hell, and create more problems in the family, then don’t bother. There are already lots of issues to deal with without unnecessary added drama.”
Although Bryan’s situation is not unlike many young HIV+ Singaporeans who have chosen to keep mum about their status, especially to family, he feels blessed to have an understanding boyfriend who wasn’t angry or left him alone to fend for himself, and very thankful his boyfriend didn’t just leave him. Bryan has also told two of his cloaest friends about his situation, one of whom is HIV+ himself, and Bryan seeks his friend’s advice with the nitty gritty of HIV. He adds, “I told my friends because I just needed to tell someone. I do not like the idea of keeping this secret and burden to myself.”
Bryan’s HIV antiretroviral medications are Combivir and Efavirenz, and he has been on them since August 2010. CDC prices for these medications are as such:
Combivir - SGD$166.80
Efavirenz - SGD$200
Bryan decided that he needed the best HIV care possible so he decided not to rely on on generic antiretroviral medication from Thailand. He pays for his bloodwork and doctor visits with his own money or his Public Sector card (PS Card), being a civil servant. But there are limitations however, the PS Card has an annual limit of SGD$350 and obviously, the cumulative cost would be many times over. Thankfully, Bryan is able to utilise his Medisave to pay for his medications. He buys his medications every half year, and SGD$1500 gets deducted each time.
Bryan is a private individual who is very discreet about his HIV, and he does not see the need to talk about it with other people other than his boyfriend and two best friends, so he relies on information on HIV/AIDS he can read and learn from at www.thebody.com.
He has a few words of advice to fellow gay Singaporean men to always play safe. Yes, he understands that unprotected sex does feel good (let’s be honest here) but he advises you to have regular check-ups especially if you are considered high-risk. Bryan is glad he was diagnosed early and now has an undetectable Viral Load and CD4 count of 400+. He adds, “I was really surprised that throughout the years, I’d managed to dodge all the STDs and the first I ever got was the (HIV) jackpot.”
Bryan tries to tell himself that HIV is just like cancer; some people get them and are still living life to the fullest, and that it is not the end of the world. The only hassle Bryan finds is that he finds the daily medication regime a little daunting and candidly adds, “I just hate the thought that I will be on medication for the next 10000 years. And of course I now have to have sex with a condom! Which kinda sucks.”
Jokes aside, Bryan says that whatever the future might hold for one who has recently tested positive to never keep the HIV to yourself, as it is ever so important to talk to someone who understands and alleviate that inner torment, be it with a social worker, or a friend. Bryan finally ends with some important words, “Life will still go on, but now, just be careful and take care of your body since now we have lowered immunity. Right now, I can only pray that a cure will be found during my lifetime. Even though I like the idea of dying young (and beautiful) however, I do not want to go in a terrible and suffering state, that won’t look too good. In the meantime, please take care and play safe, you guys!”
Come make Pink Dot this 30th June 2012 at Hong Lim Park, Singapore.
I have always attended the Pink Dot events without fail & this year shall not be an exception. Our country’s very own version of a pride parade & I am very proud to be a part of this movement to ask for equal rights for my fellow LGBT friends & I.
Anniversary: A short film by Royston Tan & Alfian Sa’at
This short was written in commemoration of World AIDS Day, telling of the story of Wai Kit, the main protagonist, who has a history of promiscuity and involvement in the P&P scene, locally known in Singapore as “chemfun”. He meets someone he used to have sex with during the drug-fuelled orgies who then reveals to him that he recently tested positive for HIV. He is urged to take a test a well.
Wai Kit is now torn and emotionally distressed for he is now in a relationship with a loving boyfriend. He takes a HIV test without his partner’s knowledge. How does he then inform his partner on the results? Does it count as the traditional “gift of paper” to his love? Tearjerker short.
“I gather from your letter that your son is a homosexual. I am most impressed by the fact that you do not mention this term yourself in your information about him. May I question you why you avoid it? Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation; it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function, produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. Many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them. (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime –and a cruelty, too. If you do not believe me, read the books of Havelock Ellis.
By asking me if I can help [your son], you mean, I suppose, if I can abolish homosexuality and make normal heterosexuality take its place. The answer is, in a general way we cannot promise to achieve it. In a certain number of cases we succeed in developing the blighted germs of heterosexual tendencies, which are present in every homosexual; in the majority of cases it is no more possible. It is a question of the quality and the age of the individual. The result of treatment cannot be predicted.
What analysis can do for your son runs in a different line. If he is unhappy, neurotic, torn by conflicts, inhibited in his social life, analysis may bring him harmony, peace of mind, full efficiency, whether he remains homosexual or gets changed.”
Dr. Sigmund Freud
This should probably be the trademark picture of myself that I will not change. Been using it for my also anonymous Twitter account for the past year now. 100% c’est moi. Haha.